I love how Mother Nature blossoms after every winter! We can do the same. During our wintery trials we can rest assured that spring will follow. We will rise up again and experience new growth and beauty. These flowers pushed through a heavy, muddy earth to blossom in their full glory. It’s like our lives, we will get muddy by what is happening around us and sometimes by our own mistakes but we can overcome, grow, push through and bloom ❤️
While I was in Hawaii for 3 months, I was able to devote much of my full attention to interviewing, researching and writing the book “Stop Competing with Pornography”.
This type of project requires spiritual strength and support which I’ve had to ask for and have thankfully received.
I’ve learned and been reminded over and and over again that one must not run faster then they are able. This is a truth that requires me to take time to rest and recuperate as needed.
Heb. 12:1-2 “… and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith…”
Mosiah 4:27, “And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man (woman) should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.”
D&C 10:4, “Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength…”
Prior to my Aloha experience, I hired a writing coach, Denise Parmenter, who has motivated me, inspired me and been just what I needed to be able to continue this mission. I choose the word mission carefully because that is what I consider this, a calling to share a message about pornography and how it destroyed my marriage and how it’s affected other people. It includes help and hope for others.
I’m writing a book about the painful journey from competing with pornography to accepting I couldn’t beat it. There is a point in this journey that I began to find myself again. Pornography will destroy a person’s happiness, a marriage and relationships if one allows it to. When I first realized my husband was choosing pornography over me, I thought I could win him back by becoming more attractive. It became a competition. When I learned to stop competing with it, and return to being myself, happiness and self love, I began to return to my life.
I now find myself in a life that I only thought would be mine if I died and went to heaven. I feel so much love around me. Only when I learned to accept and love myself did I realize that I could be happy in this life and not have to wait.
Because I’ve kept a journal most of my life, including the decades I struggled with my desire to lure my first husband back into our marriage, I have hundreds of journal entries to sift though and draw from. Some are ugly, some are enlightening; all are important. This editing process and review of the life I left behind for a happy one is taking time.
I am thankful for your support and encouragement. I know I am not alone and I know I have a mission to be of help to others through this journey.
My book is in the rough draft form waiting for the energy I need to complete it.